Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Three Sundays ago, on a cool, historic fall evening, I ran the most I’ve ever run, packing away 3.5 miles in preparation for the half-marathon. I felt fantastic, too, breeze against my face, clear Texan sky alight with stars, and the knowledge that I haven’t been in such physical condition since college. But then a great sickness took hold, and brutal as the actual virus may have been, it’s the aftermath that’s been the real doozy.

I lost my tennis racquet last week. I wish I could tell you I misplaced it, or some street urchin stole it, but no–I lost my grip on it. Flew right out of my hand, mid-swing, and I was aghast. Never, even in my poorest moments of tennis prowess, have I ever let go. I’ve been feeling markedly weaker, though, and stamina’s been all but spent after the first set. How could I go from an effortless 3.5-mile run to lacking the wherewithal to hold onto my racquet? I’m not sure.

The regression goes beyond physicality, too. My mental fitness has also been questionable. Initially, I thought I had rediscovered a measure of focus, and I did. Problem was, I didn’t have much aside from that, and if focus is your sole currency, then you’re kind of an idiot savant, right? Prior to getting sick, thinking felt like jazz–thoughts flowed freely, and there was a pleasure to be had from riffing and stitching them together. After getting sick? Thinking’s been more a one-note affair. Less Coltrane, more “Chopsticks.”

Things have improved, fortunately. The Professor explained how the physical regression isn’t viral, so much as a consequence of not exercising on a daily basis. Decreased resilience is more a function of aging, he said. I don’t know why, but I found this comforting. The fix here simply calls for getting back on the horse. Still working on how to repair my brain, however, and I don’t have any easy answers. All I can do is record my progress, here in my clearinghouse for thoughts. And even though there may not be a pill to pop, perhaps attendance alone can be therapeutic.