Movie Reviews in 50 Words: (P)

Pathfinder (2007)
This waste of celluloid pits Native Americans improbably against Vikings. Ninjas, pirates, and leprechauns are notably absent, however, leaving the two races a full serving of clichés and atrocious screenwriting. Karl Urban may have wanted a star-making vehicle, but this was the cinematic equivalent of stepping into a stranger’s car.

Bury it

Pearl Harbor (2001)
Jingoistic train wreck piles on the trite in this horrid revision of a critical moment in American history. Gems like “I think World War II just started!” showcase the script fairly well, but at least this disastrous hulk of a flick manages to land in under three hours. Oh, wait.

Bury it